Traffic in Nassau

Why is it that when it rains commuters drive super slow? I don't understand. It's one thing to be careful because the roads are wet, it's another to barely move at all.

Listen, when the roads are wet I am more careful driving because I could get in an accident, or rather someone else could involve me in an accident. I am a great driver, and everybody else sucks at it! I keep joking saying that "I'm going to open up my Hard Knock Driving School and teach these idiots how to properly drive" for all sorts of reasons.

Today it took me over an hour to commute to my office (which usually takes about 20, 25 minutes) because it rained last night. When it rains the drivers don't drive their cars, they make them crawl. It's pathetic, it really is. It's not the cars fault, it's the driver and the driver in front of that one and the driver in front of that one etc etc. It's a domino effect of idiots driving cars!

The same traffic bullshit is also caused not only by the rain, but also by car accidents and police. Why the hell do you have to drive two miles an hour when you pass an accident on the side of the road? Haven't you seen one before? Why do you have to look up and down when the police have pulled someone over? I understand that you might know the person, but what are you going to do? Nothing except gossip! Why don't you damn Bahamians do everyone a favour for a change and mind your own damn business?!...and while you're at it LEARN TO DRIVE!

Road Rage: 'This is My Block'

This morning I had to pick up the housekeeper for my sister who had gone away to the states with her husband and children who went to go visit Joe who had only been given 6 months to live because of his cancer.

I was heading down the long road where she lives and this car came out of a road on the left. The car pulled in front of my car and I had to slam on the breaks. I swerved around this asshole and shouted at him, "What the fuck are you doing? You trying to hit my car? Watch the damn road!"

I continued on my way to pick up Beanus and this asshole was racing with me! He was on the right side of my car (we drive on the left here) and he was just looking at me. I payed him no mind but he would not let up.

I slowed down so that he would go ahead of me and roll out. He pulled in front of my car and slammed on the breaks. I had to slam on mine too or I would have severely crashed into the back of his car.

His door opened and he started to walk towards my car. I put my car in reverse and backed up. I went around him and told him, "I don't have time for this."

I continued down the road and noticed in my rear view mirror that he was on my tail again. He pulled on the right side and I gestured to him as I lipped "Go. Go. Go. Go ahead. The road is all yours. Go. Just go."

He got in the left lane in front of me and headed down the road. I started to slow down now because I was approaching the corner where I was going to be picking up Beanus. This 'Road Rager' pulled over to the left and got out of his car ten feet from where the pick up spot was.

He walked towards my car as he was saying things which I was not pay attention to.

The dumb ass man who is in dire need of having a driving lesson said, "This is my block. You come 'round here. This my block."

Beanus got into my car, looked out my window and said, "Oh God. Look!" and she immediately got out of my car and started telling the man off in creole. It was obvious that the angry black man was a Haitian at this point since he spoke back to her in their native tongue. I looked out my window and saw this irate man holding a huge rock with both of his hands. I put my window down sightly and said, "Are you serious? You want to break my windows?"

The Haitian man said, "This my block. Don't come fuck wit me."
I replied, " Buddy. You came flying out of that corner without looking."
"I'll bust you." Threated my would be attacker rising his weapon. "This my block."
"Okay fine. Whatever you say. Whatever."

He went over to the spot where he picked up the rock and placed it back down on the ground.

- OR -

The Haitian man said, "This my block. Don't come fuck wit me."
I replied, " Buddy. You came flying out of that corner without looking."
"I'll bust you." Threated my would be attacker rising his weapon. "This my block."
"Okay fine. Whatever you say. Whatever."

He did not want to stop though. He proceeded to approach me in my car gesturing to me that he was going to toss the rock at my car, so I got out. I rose and outstretched my hands in the air and said, "You shoulda left it dead."

I darted towards him and punched him in the face with my right hand so hard he dropped the rock he was holding on his feet. As he wailed in pain he leaned forward and connected his face with my knee. The momentum that I hit him with threw him back and he fell on the road with great force. I then ended the ass kicking by spitting on him and saying, "This is my block. I grew up here. Who the fuck are you?"

Beanus then got back in my car and we departed from the scene. I hope to never see that sonofabitch again. If I do it'll be too soon.

Watch this Road Rage video

I wish I had a Trunk Monkey; he would come pretty handy.

Good Samaritan: Part 2: "Bush Push"

As I approached the second to last turn I would have to make before entering my community I saw an old dented car on the road between the left and right turning lane. The driver had opened his door as I passed him and turned left.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man who had gotten out of his car, walk to the front of his vehicle and open the hood. White smoke spied out and surrounded the man in a cloak of vapour. I was sure it was radiator trouble.

A convince store lay a little ahead and I was able to get off the road as a speedster in a large white Ford F-250 truck zoomed by. I turned around to go help the stranger, just like a stranger helped me earlier. Lord knows I've been in those circumstances many times myself.

I neared the wreckage and asked the man "Radiator trouble?" to which he replied, "Yea. She crack." He was a Haitian man of about 50 or so years and he spoke English well enough for the average Bahamian to understand easily.

"Would you like some help?" I continued, "I can help you. What do you want to do? Do you have any Coolant? Any water? A container?"

He stammered as he spoke, "No fluids. Water? Push car and let cool."

"I don't have coolant but I can get water. You want that? Cool down radiator. "

"No. Just push car and wait for engine to cool."

"I can help you move the car" I stated. As I started to move to find a parking space he nodded, confirming acceptance of my help. I found one, turned off my car and got out, walked towards him and asked "Where do you want it?"

He rose his right hand and pointed to the clearing off the road directly behind his car. "There, push car."

I placed my hands on the hood of his car and pushed like a sumo wrestler would while he steered from the driver's side of the car. In a matter of about 30 seconds the car was off the road and out of the motorists way.

"What are you going to do?" I inquired.

"Let cool. Too hot. Cool down, then I drive."

"You can only go so far before she heats up again. You need to get that fixed. I recently had radiator trouble too and took my car to Toms Radiator. You know Toms? On Wulff Road?"

"Yea, yea Toms. I know Toms"

"I'd go there" I continued. "They can fix it good.
Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. Just wait 'till car cool. Thank you."

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure."

I started to move to go to my car when I heard the Haitian add, "God bless you."

I replied, "Thank you. Hope all goes well. Take care. Bye." I got back in my car, waved goodbye and continued the rest of my way home.

Just as I was helped, I help another. It made me feel really good to help someone I didn't know, someone I'll probably never see again. It felt good to pass on the "doing-good-to-others" feeling. Why don't you be a good Samaritan for someone today? Help spread being human, and be a good Samaritan.

Good Samaritan: Part 1: "Tire Hire"

When work was over I had nothing planned straight away; nothing except getting home and relaxing for a bit before the evening began.

It was a normal drive in the afternoon traffic as I headed towards the gas station I frequent. I pulled up to a pump to top off the fuel tank in my metal chariot.

Another car pulled up to a pump two over from me and started shouting things. I ignored the shouting at first since I didn't even think that they would be trying to get my attention. They persisted.

As I put down the windows on my side to speak with a pump attendant, I turned my head to the right; the direction of the hollers, and tried to communicate with the driver and his front seat passenger. I thought he was informing me that my back right tire needed some air so I really wasn't too into them. The passenger got out of the car and my eyes went to him. He spoke and I was now able to understand what they had been trying to tell me.

"You only have one nut!"

"What?" I questioned myself, "What did he mean?"

The driver and passenger were both pointing at the tire as I got out of the car to inspect the situation. When I examined my tire I noticed that the men were absolutely correct. All but one nut were missing.

"You got a wrench?" inquired the passenger.
"Yeah" I shouted back, "It's in my trunk somewhere."

I moved to the back of my car, opened the trunk and started my search. It was a little bit of a mess back there since I had not put the things that I stored in there back in their rightful places.

"You got a wrench?" came the question again. I just managed to put my hands on it then, stood up right and as soon as I did the passenger grabbed it, slid it out of my right hand, and went to work on my front right tire. Without a thought this gentleman in dark blue overalls started gathering nuts from two of my other tires.

I thought that it would be a good idea to Jack up my car so that the tire would be straight on the tire rods once the nuts were added, so I grabbed my Jack from the trunk and lifted my car a few inches.

"You lucky" the helpful and kind man said as he did his work. "Man you could have been dead. All you need is to be going 40 [miles per hour] on a corner and your car could have flipped over if the tire came off. You lucky! Man, you lucky!"

"I know" I replied, "Real lucky. Thank you for telling me. Thank you so much. I heard a knocking noise back there and wondered what it was. Thank you again."

I put the Car Jack back in the trunk and organized it as I went along. I was thinking of offering the good Samaritan's some money for their kindness, but when I closed my trunk they were gone; another car occupied the space they had been in.

I got in my car with a thankful smile on my face and continued my trek home.

My First Car Crash In Ages

My best friend (who is really my brother - just not by blood) and his wife came down from Florida (where they live) to be with me and my mother during this very difficult time. Tyrone, and his better half, wanted to pay their respects to my father by attending his funeral which will be held on Wednesday 17th January at the church we worship at; Sacred Heart Roman Catholic Church, Shirley Street.

My car has been in the shop for a while now getting my transmission fixed by the authorized Honda dealer for Nassau, well it's probably the entire Bahamas. Anyway, Tyrone did not rent a car and his family down here didn't lend him one so I had to borrow my mothers '98 Pontiac so that I could pick up my friends at their hotel and hang for a bit; catch a couple cocktails and chat.

Nassau Palm Resort

On my way to the Nassau Palm Resort at about 8:30ish in the evening I got in a car accident. I was heading west on Shirley Street, and this ass that caused this traffic accident was heading north on East Street. Well I'm just cruising with the rest of the cars heading west when suddenly I saw a car fly from the left (East St.) and was directly in front of me. It happened so fast that I did not have time to hit the breaks and try to stop the inevitable from happening. All I could do was close my eyes.

I felt the impact of our cars and the G-force which accompanied it, then it felt like I was floating. Just bobbing around on white fluffy clouds until I was jolted to an abrupt stop. I opened my eyes and saw that the airbag in the steering wheel had opened and all the white dust was floating in the air. I opened my door and tried to get out but I was moving too slow and had to quickly remove my hand from the way of the drivers door coming right back at me. It slammed. I tried again and this time put my foot out so that the door could not return. I pulled myself out of my seat and my legs were hanging outside the car but they were not touching the ground. I had to hop to reach it; that or fall. I then surveyed my surroundings.

I quickly examined myself searching for ripped clothes, scratches, bruises and blood. A fragment of flying glass from the windshield must have cut me on my right wrist, but I could not find anything else wrong with me. People were now gathering in abundance. I had a small crowd of five to eight people checking out me and asking if I was alright. I then heard a baby crying in the distance. One of the ladies then said,"Oh Lord! She gat a baby wit her." And another lady shouted,"Check if aight. Da baby crying!"

The irresponsible driver that ran the red street light had her child in the front of the car with her. Not only was the driver not wearing her seatbelt, but her baby was not strapped in a child's car seat either. What do you think goes through these peoples heads? Not much, I say. Why on Gods green Earth would you not where your seatbelt, not strap your baby properly in your vehicle, and then not pay attention, run a red light and cause a car crash? WTF!!??

Stupid people do stupid things!

I got out my Sony Cybershot Digital Camera and started taking pictures to document the damage which had occurred. I looked at my moms car and saw that I had crashed into a parking lot wall. The impact threw the Pontiac (with me in it) ten to fifteen feet in the air and right into a brick wall. On the other side of the wall were three cars including a Mercedes Benz, which had blocks, debris and dust on them from the busted wall.

The ambulance had now arrived on the scene to make sure that who ever needed medical help got it. I declined their help as I only had that one small wound on my wrist and it was not bleeding heavily. My legs and arms seemed to be working normally and I did not feel light headed or pain from any part of my body.

Thank God no one got hurt in this absolutely preventable accident. The baby was fine too, it was just crying because it was scared shitless, nearly (but thankfully not) lifeless.

I was busy making phone calls. Called my brother in-law to notify him on the situation and rang my blood brother to see if I could have the car towed to his place because the private community that I live in has rules about these sort of things.

One of my friends that I have not seen in about four, five years was there by my side. He was riding shotgun in one of his friends cars when they passed by and he saw that I was involved in the street mess. They pulled over to see if they could help me in any way. I did require their help.

By now the tow truck that had arrived on the scene and had already pulled my car out of the parking lot wall was ready to take the injured Pontiac to it's final destination that night. I organized a plan with my on-site-buddy "Dex" and I jumped into the passengers side of the Tow Truck. Dex and his driver friend followed us to my brothers house which was about fifteen minutes away. After placing the car right where we wanted it, after removing some items from the car, after paying the tow truck driver I hopped in the back seat with my new friends and headed to get a drink. I was really needing it at this point now; it's time to relax.

I called Tyrone in his hotel room and told him that I was coming his way, we were going out and that I had a surprize for him. Tyrone hates suprizes but I had to keep this one a surprize. He said that him and his wife were not ready and to check them a little later so the three of us decided to get a cocktail while we waited for the two of them to get ready. "Flamingo's" was mentioned and we headed that way.

Turning on the corner I noticed that the bar was in darkness so I new they were closed but that really didn't matter because there were police all over the road. They, (the police) were pulling over cars and handing out tickets for a number of things. They even arrested a few people for outstanding warrants.

The cop waved us to the side. We got out after he told us to,"Turn off the car and step out of the vehicle." He wanted our drivers license's and we handed them over without griping. He wanted to see if either of us had any warrants. After about 25 minutes and total disbelief of the circumstances that were happening to me that night we were given the okay to leave. We headed directly to Tyrone's hotel.

When Ty arrived in the lobby of the hotel he saw me and then he saw Dex. It was a nice surprize since they had not seen each other since Tyrone got married a few years before. By the way I was Tyrone's Best Man.

After a little chit chat we all managed to squeeze into the black car Dex's friend was driving. We all wanted, and some of us needed a drink. We hit a number of bars and we all had a great time. It's just such a pity that I had to have such a bad time to have a great time.

Here are some of the pictures I took:

This is the car that ran the red light. You can see in the first picture the street sign in the background. That road is East Street. The main road that the car is pictured on is Shirley Street.

Nice Axel

I can tell you one thing. That car was tough. Dad bought this car for my mother because he wanted a strong, solid car that would protect her and keep her safe. Not only did the car keep me alive and pretty much injury free, but I believe that my father himself took part in protecting me and keeping me from harm.

Dude, there's my car!

I’ve been looking for another car since my last one was stolen from me in March.

My eyes were open as they scoured the Tribune (one of our local papers), the internet, and car lots hoping to find that perfect something. In my mind I wanted an SUV but I did not want a massive vehicle, gas guzzler, or something that put a serious dent in my bank account.

I placed a number of calls to an individual inquiring about an Isuzu Rodeo, but no one ever answered the cell phone. I tried the other phone number that was mentioned in the advertisment, and nobody knew what I was talking about. Clearly I’m not the stupid one here. Hells no! The bright, enlightened one who placed the classified ad in the paper should go ahead and shoot themselves and everyone else at that home number in the foot; might as well shoot yourself in the head whilst you’re at it. The world needs less stupid people. "Go ahead! I dare you!" All the idiot needed to do was to tell everyone at the land line that he wanted to sell his car and to expect the phone to ring with inquiries. "Dumbass! You'll never sell anything." Needless to say (but I’m about to anyway), I didn’t buy that car.

I knew what I wanted now but I still had to find it. I thought that the best thing for me to get would be a Honda CRV. It’s not too BIG, and it’s higher off the ground than a regular car, and I don’t think that they drink lots and lots of gasoline. Well, I never ever saw one of these advertised in the papers so I had to move on and open my options.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late) I received a call from one of my friends informing me that his father had an extra car that he wanted to sell. I had a look and a test drive and fell in love with it. So a few days later I purchased it; done deal.

What I ended up with was a 2001 white Honda Accord with leather interior and a 2.3 liter VTEC fuel injected engine. Sweet! I have so much more room than my 2002 Mitsubishi Lancer. I’m way more comfortable and proud of this car. Let’s hope that this one doesn’t get swiped from me, and that I take really, really good care of it.

Stolen Car Inventory

What did I have in my car when it was stolen?

Here is a list of the things to my recollection:

1. CD’s. Tons of CD’s. In fact just about all my CD’s. Well, all my working CD’s.
2. A bottle of Ralph Lauren Romance (for Men)
3. My book I was reading – “The Big Bad Wolf” by James Patterson
4. A red igloo cooler
5. My baseball bat that was in the trunk
6. My T-shirt designs
7. My wallet which was in my glove box. It only had four dollars in it at the time and none of my VISA cards were in it, though I did have a $50 gift certificate to “The Sports Center”. I also had my driver’s license in it. I guess I’ll have to get another license (again).
8. My reversible red jacket that protected me so well against the elements.
9. My new sandels.
10. My spare keys to my brother’s house and my keys to my office. My business cards were in my car too so I had to re-key all the locks at his house and at my office.
11. My liquor flask
12. My cell phone charger
13.

Dude where's my car?

I have been staying at my brothers house while he has been off the island in the U.S. Taking care of his dogs and relaxing was the only things I had to do. My brother was supposed to return on Wednesday, but he rang and said that he would not be. The next day (Thursday) I spoke to him and he said that he would be returning on Sunday. If only what was supposed to happen actually did then I would not be in this situation that I'm in right now.

It poured that night; raining cats and dogs. After relaxing in front of the tube I hit the sack at 11:30pm. At about 3:30am I felt the urge, so I got up and went to the bathroom.

I awoke with my cell phone alarm at 6:50am and eventually got out of bed. After dressing I surveyed the household and headed out the kitchen door into the carport. I expected to see my Silver 2002 Mitsubishi Lancer quietly waiting for me, but I found nothing. I was in disbelief. Where was my car? I looked by the street. Perhaps I had a bit too much to drink last night and forgot what I did. Maybe I parked the car elsewhere. Then I noticed shards of glass in the carport. I didn't park it elsewhere. It was right here. I last saw my car at around 8:00pm the night before.

I have been feeling so strange today. I may still be in shock. It feels like a dream going the wrong way. It's not supposed to happen like this. I want to wake up all over again, but I know that's not going to happen. It's never happened before when I really needed time to go back. Why would it do it now? It wouldn't. It won’t.

2002 mitsubishi lancer

New / old drivers licence

I decided that today I would go and get my new drivers licence which vanished last year around Christmas time (that would be December 2004). I know where it went. It left my pocket, riding in my wallet, that was taken from me at gun point. I told the masked man that he can have the cash, I just wanted the leather wallet and the rest of it's contents....including my licence.

The robber agreed and proceeded towards me when his partner in crime warned him that the "Police coming", so they both ran off in the bush, with my wallet no less. I was out of my car and I hailed the police vehical down. He pulled over and asked me "What da matter?" unconcernedly. I let him know that I had just been robbed and the two culprits made away through the brush.

The police man gently started moving his car forward when I exclaimed, "Arn't you gonna do something?!" He calmly replied,"No."

Irritated, I questioned him , "Arn't you the police?" to which he answered, "Yes, but I ain't stupid." I interjected before he sped away, "No. you're a fucking poor pathetic excuse for an officer! You're a disgrace to that badge"

I then jumped into my ride and took off, screeching around every corner.

Almost a full year later I decided that I should get a new licence since I found out that my old one expired that same month (Dec '04). I'm looking at it right now as I type. It was not an easy thing to do. It requires a lot of time and even more patience. The system sucks! "Go ahead and take your own sweet ass time!" They need to be a lot more efficient otherwise someone gonna go all 'postal' on them.