Go Ahead, have another DRINK

I don't seem to have the desire or the drive to want to do anything with this Blog now days. After I get home from my 9 to 5 job I do not want to spend anytime on the computer - I just spent 8 hours on one. All I want to do is mix myself a cocktail and watch the tube.

I'm an alcoholic. I know that. A lot of people I know are. That's the type of life I grew up in. A life many Nassauvians (locals from Nassau) grew up in. Most of these people would never admit it but they are. I know what I am and it doesn't bother me. I'm not one of those "over-board" or "on-the-edge" drinkers. I don't get all crazy and puke all over the place. I don't fall off my bench or trip down the stairs. I don't embarrass myself or others in public, private, or any other way. I'm a social drinker who no longer needs to be social to have a drink or two,.....or five.

I've been up and down on this Liquor Roller Coaster over the years. I cut down a lot on my drinking and I was doing pretty good (if you don't mind me blowing my horn a little), but then dad was admitted in the hospital because of breathing complications related to his continual progressing cancer. He was nearing the ever so final page of inevitable death;...I just sorta picked back up on an "old" habit.

It's been really hard on all of us. We all have our own way to deal with this "mess" we're in. Some deal with it better than others. I thought I was handling things well, but I might have to reevaluate my own situation.

I enjoy spending time with my father now days and he seems to be getting better, but I know he's not. The cancer has spread throughout his body, it's only a matter of time now. But how much time does he have on this Earth? How long will my daddy be with us physically? No one knows. It could be one month, six months, one year or five. All I do know is that his race is almost over and no matter what happens that finish line will come too quickly.

I can only hope that when that day arrives and the following weeks, months, and even years; that I do not go overboard and drown in the frigged liquids of "what's your poison?" and spiral way out of control with mind altering drugs.