I'm NOT the best man ?? !!

My friends wedding is coming up shortly (sometime in May '06) and he had given me an invite to his wedding about 4 weeks ago. I said nothing as he handed me the invite though I was thinking that I should have known about this earlier since I expected to be his Best Man.

We have been close for a very long time. In fact his parents and mine are best friends. I even started it all back in the day. I've thought about this and if I had not gone out of my way to say "hi" to him that day, his parents and mine would not be the type of friends they are today.

Below is a letter that I had to write to him so that he would know where I stand. Before I get to that I just want to explain that since JP had been seeing KC she appeared to have something against me. I never was able to figure it out. I even asked JP about it and he basically told me to forget about it because it was nothing.

Note:
I have changed the names of the people mentioned in this letter to their initials so as to "protect" their identity.

PS - TC is KC's brother & NC is TC's wife.


Dear J***s R****t P****r,

Today I find myself writing you a letter so that you will know exactly how I feel about your wedding plans and us.

Perhaps I am mistaken, but I thought that we were best friends (or the like). I have known you, and been your (bestest) friend for more than twenty years! That’s a long time to know someone, especially since we’re not even thirty yet.

I could not, and still do not believe that you did not ask me to be your best man. That is an insult of the worst kind! In my mind, I was able to accept that TC would be your best man, but now I cannot especially after finding out that there is more in your party than TC and NC. Another slap in my face! I completely understand your brother standing in your wedding, but what about JH? If JH if standing in your wedding (next to TC I might add), I definitely should be, (and he agrees).

I’m absolutely appalled and baffled on your decision to not have me in your party (especially me not being your best man). You asked me if I wanted to be an usher at your wedding. What is this? Some sort of ‘runner up prize’? Remember I asked you “Do I have to [be an usher in your wedding]?” Clearly I did not want to be. And truthfully I still don’t.

Did you feel sorry for me (for you not asking me to be in your party) after I spoke to you at Green Parrot, or did you just need a person to usher your wedding guests? Either way I have made my decision. I will not be insulted further. I refuse to entertain you, KC, the C****r Family, and anyone else, by being an usher at your wedding, when in my heart of hearts I believe that I should be standing next to you in the church. But it is clear that you do not.

Furthermore there is no reason for KC to have a problem with me. I have done her no wrong. And if I have, I have no idea what it possibly could be. Both you and her smile in my face like nothing is wrong, but there is indeed something amiss.

I must reiterate that I wrote you this letter so that you would know exactly how I feel. I am so hurt by your actions, or lack thereof. It feels as if you have tossed me aside like yesterdays trash. I can only hope that you never feel the astounding pain of betrayal that I feel inside right now.

From your ‘friend’

And then I signed the letter.


Everyone that I have spoken to, or whom has spoken to me, does not understand why JP did not ask me to be his Best Man. My mother, father, sister, brother in-law, co-worker and friends are all confused by this. So it's not just me.

I know that KC must have influenced JP into asking her brother to be his best man and to not ask me to even be in the wedding party. It's not just HER wedding, it's HIS wedding too!

What are your thoughts out there?
Do any of you have anything to relate?
Have any of you been in a similar situation?