My Father Passes

On Wednesday 10th January my father, who had been fighting cancer for 5½ to 6 years, passed away to a better place where he will not suffer in pain and anguish anymore.

We had known that dad was on the final stretch. We had the doctor come over to the house fairly regularly and we also had a nurse who would come by and check in on things. The doctor said that daddy was going to pass on soon because his lungs were filled with fluid. You see, daddy was having a lot of difficulty breathing. He was coughing so much too. He became so weak that he could hardly move his good arm. His appetite had depreciated so much. He always used to eat so good. This was a clear sign to me that his time on this planet was almost over.

Dad was in so much pain from the coughing because the cancer had spread all over his lungs. And every time he would start coughing it would be hard for him to stop. There was so much fluid being produced on and in his lungs due to the cancer that you could hear the fluid vibrating in his throat as he breathed. When he spoke this sound was even more evident.

It got to a point that dad would say,"No more" "Make it stop" "Too much pain" "I wanna go" among others. We discussed with daddy the scenario informing him that we can lessen his pain by putting him on a Morphine drip but that he would eventually be incoherent. He understood us, we made sure of this. He had to understand his options. We knew what we wanted, but the final choice was his.

We put him on the Morphine drip (as per his wishes) which increased from level 1 to level 3 in one day. The next day he got up to 5. He was in and out; sleeping most of the time. This was nice because he was not in any pain when he was sleeping.

We were all there, his immediate family that is. His wife (my mother), his children (myself, my sister & brother), his grandchildren (my two niece's - my sister's girls), his son-in-law and various close friends which came and went throughout the day including his twin brother.

I was keeping myself busy the whole day. Keeping my mind off things because I knew what was slowly creeping up - The Reaper - and he's no friend of mine!

When the time was right (before daddy was incoherent) we each spent some alone time with him saying what we had to say. It was a very personal time for everyone. There was a lot of crying and lots of sniffles. But nothing compared to the overwhelming emotion after daddy's passing.

My sister was on the bed with daddy holding and stroking his good hand and arm while she spoke softly to him. She raised her head and looked at him when she noticed he starting breathing differently. He was gasping and his eyes were now open. She demandingly told my older brother to fetch mom which he did. Mommy ran into the room, but it was too late. Daddy had already taken his last breath and he was just laying there staring.

I've never heard anyone scream like that before. Well, on a side note I have. I had an acquaintance/friend who died in the hospital at the tender age of fourteen after been on life support and in a coma of a number of weeks because of a drunk driving car accident. I still cannot get her mothers screams and wails, and those of all her high school buddies out of my head after six years.

Anyway, my mother took it bad. She was screaming "No!" a lot. She could not believe it. I couldn't either. I found the nurses stethoscope and placed the cold metal on daddy's chest to make sure that his heart had stopped. I kept moving it all over his chest trying my best to find a heart beat. My sister looked hopefully at me but all I did was confirm the horrid end.

Here are some pictures I took that day

It was really overcast and windy that day. Can't you just feel the sadness in the air?

My father, dressed in his favourite shirt, spent some of his last moments with his lovely angelic granddaughters whom he loved so much. He wanted to be buried with two pictures he adored of his beautiful granddaughters, which were placed on his chest next to his heart.



"We were all there, his immediate family that is."

You can rest now dad.